Sunday, September 5, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Book Review: "Love & War" by John and Stasi Eldredge
This is, by far, the best book I've ever read on Christian marriage. John and Stasi Eldredge both have an incredible gift for writing with such vulnerability and transparency that it's like listening to life-long trusted friends sharing their hearts with you at your dinner table. The book is refreshing and practical, but more importantly, the wisdom on its pages doesn't flow from the latest statistics, recent surveys, or psychological journals. Instead, it flows from the personal journals and stories from the raw experience of learning how to love on the front lines. It's wisdom flows from the heart of God Himself, the Creator of marriage, spoken to both of them over their 25 years together.
I usually don't like to use a highlighter in books. But with this one, I could not help myself. Even now, as I peruse the pages again, I see portions of bright yellow on nearly every page and I can not help but read it again. And as I do, I'm refreshed again...and again.
My wife and I have been married for nearly twelve years. We have a good marriage. But as I read this book, I realized that we can have a great marriage. And that's the other great thing about this book: it nurtures and inspires hope. I have come away from this book with a renewed belief that a good marriage isn't God's best; a great marriage is. But with that renewed belief, I have also been given insights from the heart of God - not principles to apply - that breathe life and courage (an important virtue in marriage) into my own heart.
And I will read this book again...soon.
It's easy to settle for being "comfortably numb" in any relationship, but it can not be permitted in Christian marriage. John and Stasi, as always, faithfully remind us that we are part of a bigger story and that our marriage, the success of our marriage, is instrumental in winning the war within the story. A vibrant, healthy Christian marriage advances the Kingdom of Heaven in the earth as much as (if not more than) casting out demons and moving in spiritual gifts. As God spoke to me one time, "What good is being able to cast out a demon if you act like one at home?" We are part of a great and epic story. And without a healthy marriage, we will break ranks and become spiritual POWs or casualties of the war.
I highly recommend this book to any Christian couples, thriving or surviving. You don't need someone to tell you what you need to do, what principles to apply, or where you screwed up. You need someone to come alongside you and to encourage you with wisdom from God, hope from His heart, and the promise of healing and resurrection. You need this book, because John and Stasi do just that. It's what they do best, I think.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Full Circle
I guess I've come full circle.
Two years ago, I became disenchanted with American christianity and the Church. (By "the Church", I refer to the collective body of Christians around the world; not necessarily to the Roman Catholic Church, but certainly including it.) I began to step "outside of my box" and to investigate what others and "outsiders" were saying about Christianity and the Church. I discovered that many of them really liked Jesus but not the Church. I also discovered that "my christianity" and "their christianity" were not the same as Jesus's Christianity. All of this was shocking and frightening to me, but I also knew that it was necessary and good. I was wrong on so many beliefs that I had cherished for so long that I knew the process of rediscovery would be hard, but in the end, worth it. Now, after two years, I've come full circle, but not back to the same place I started. I find myself embracing beliefs that are not newer or "more progressive". They are actually ancient and rooted and secure. And they are in the Church, not outside of it.
In the book of Proverbs, we are admonished not to "remove the ancient boundary which your fathers have set" (Prov. 22:28, 23:10). Although this verse is speaking of land allotments and properties, there is another point being made: the ancient boundaries are important. They serve and protect us; they clarify what is ours and what is not. Boundaries give us the freedom and security of knowing our place. They protect us from the selfishness within ourselves and within others who would seek to take what isn't legally theirs or ours. But, as many of us know deep in our own hearts and from our own experience, when the boundaries are ignored, whether by us or someone else against us, the consequences are painful, lingering, and potentially devastating. When the boundaries are pushed back or ignored, we set a precedent for our descendants. "What one generation allows in moderation, the next will abuse in excess."
In the obscure book of Jude, he speaks of "the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints" (v. 3). "The faith" refers not to a spiritual act of belief, but instead, to a body of teachings that are authoritative and non-negotiable. These teachings are necessary for distinguishing and discerning truth and for proper, healthy growth in all areas of our humanity: spirit, soul, mind, will, and even body. The faith is revealed and taught to us by the Holy Spirit within and through the Church. The Church, corporately and individually, must conform to the faith - not the other way around. The faith is made up of those beliefs that have been believed by all Christians in all places and at all times from the beginning. If a belief wasn't present from the beginning, then it is not part of "the faith once for all delivered to the saints".
But what does all this talk about full circle, ancient boundaries and the faith have to do with anything? Just this: Much of what I hear being discussed nowadays is about what's wrong with the Church. One popular author and speaker said the Church is in trouble. I've even heard some Christians say that if the Church doesn't change, it will die. They talk about being "relevant", "dialogues", "conversations", and being "progressive" - all in reference to specific teachings within Christianity, how to "do church" and to the variety of interpretations and opinions. And that's what has helped to bring me back around.
The ancient boundaries, the faith, the Church, even Christianity itself, isn't the product of opinions, interpretations, preference, relevance, or social and cultural whims and influences. Instead, they are the gifts of God for the people of God. He gave us the Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth through the Church, through the ancient boundaries, through the faith. These are not archaic limitations and restrictions - they are the lines which mark the path of Life. They are the proofs for discerning His truth from what pluralism and relativism say is truth. They are the teachings that fulfill our humanity and bring us into the glory that He bestows and desires to give to all. These gifts are not the dictates of a tyrant, but of a loving Father who loves us and is committed to our best interests, based on what He knows, not what we think, prefer, or demand.
Jesus said, "I will build My church and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18). Are there things in the Church that require our repentance and correction? Yes. But these are the result of moving ancient boundaries and disobedience to truths that have been in place from the beginning. They are not the result of poor craftsmanship on the part of the Builder. Jesus has built into His Church everything that is good, godly, healthy, and fulfilling - for us and for the world. If we reject the Church, we do so at our own risk.
I want to close by saying that I know there are folks reading this who have been burned "by the Church". I understand; I have, too - and I'm one of its shepherds. But, in truth, what we have been burned by isn't the Church, the boundaries, the faith, or Christianity. What burned us, what deeply hurt us, is sin - done to us and maybe even by us. And Jesus is grieved by it all - by what sin does to us and to others. And yet, He loves, He heals, He forgives, and He builds. Nonetheless, our safety and our welfare - as a people and as individuals - is within the Church. We live together or we die alone. But, one thing is certain, Jesus is building His Church and we have His promise that the gates of Hell will not prevail. And we can trust Him, the Master Builder, to fix and repair all that needs correcting. He loves us too much not to.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
On Being Radical...Really.
"Nothing perpetuates ignorance worse than unenlightened enthusiasm," said Major Ian Thomas, one of my major influences in the Christian life. When Christians (or anyone, really) run around talking about things they have no real understanding of, this creates misunderstandings of the truth and perpetuates ignorance, the lack of real knowledge.
C.S. Lewis, another major influence, warned about the dangers of words that are misused, meaning words applied in a way that isn't in agreement with their true definition. Thus, the misuse of the word alters the definition in the public mind. An example of this would be the word, "gay", which once meant light-hearted, carefree, cheerful, happy. But, due to misuse and misapplication, the primary definition has changed in public understanding to mean "homosexual". Whereas the word at one time meant only one idea, now it has been truncated from its original definition and is rarely ever (and maybe, can never be) used in that way. "Gay", in its original sense, has been lost, by and large.
Lewis foresaw the dangers of misusing words and warned that once we begin to use words outside of their true definition, the result would be confusion and a communication breakdown, creating multiple definitions which could be used to fit one's own tastes or group agenda. In other words, there would be no absolute definitions; words would mean what one wanted them to mean. As a result, truth and understanding would become relative and muddied with no clear meaning at all.
I believe this has happened with the word "radical". Most Christians, upon hearing the word, think of ideas like extreme, "on fire", extraordinary, unfettered, maybe even "revolutionary". But the original meaning of the word means something completely different from all of these. Radical means "rooted". It's where we get the word "radish" from. So, to be radical means to be "rooted". Not quite as glorious and exciting as "extreme" or "on fire", is it? But the true meaning of the word teaches us some important truths about living a vital and real Christian life, truths that we need to seriously consider.
Radical means "rooted; i.e., to be like a root". A root is buried in its source of life. "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him..." (Col. 2:7). If a root is ever pulled up from the life-source, it dries up - and so does everything that depends upon it.
Another characteristic of a root is that it's stationary. A root doesn't "unplug" itself and go somewhere when it wants. A root is "put" - it's where it's at because someone (really, Someone) wanted it there. Roots that get uprooted too often usually do not thrive. Roots are satisfied with where they stay put.
That being said, the sign of a good, healthy root is that it will produce life and ultimately fruit wherever it's planted. A healthy root will "bloom where it's planted". One of its secrets is this: when things get tough, they don't uproot themselves and go somewhere else. They quietly go deeper into their source of life. When it's dry up top, they reach even deeper; they become even more "rooted" in their surroundings.
A radical Christian is a "rooted" Christian. This doesn't mean they won't be sent out from time to time. But that's the key: roots never move themselves; the gardener moves them - or they won't move at all.
Now that we know what the word "radical" really means and implies...
Be radical!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
"The Irresistible Revolution"
I began reading a book by Shane Claiborne called “The Irresistible Revolution”. I had heard a little of his story from videos on YouTube and bought this book thinking that it was simply his story in expanded form. I was in for a big surprise; it was so much more.
Shane Claiborne grew up in Kentucky and became a Christian in his teens. Before going graduating high school, he had begun asking, “What if Jesus really meant what he said in the gospels?” He never got any satisfactory answers before going off to college at Eastern University. Once there, he met Christian students who were asking the same question and seeking the answer. One night, some friends invited him to go with them into a “bad” neighborhood and spend the night with the poor. He went that night…and the next…and the next. Eventually, he and a small group of friends moved into that neighborhood and began living out the church as portrayed in the book of Acts. Living among the poor and getting to know them, Shane said, “I thought I was going to bring the gospel to them; instead, they have brought it to me.” His community, The Simple Way, continues to live in the inner city among the poor and homeless, transforming the neighborhood through love.
As I read through the book, the Lord Jesus challenged “my gospel” with the hard reality and beauty of his own. What I thought was going to be a simple autobiography turned out to be that and so much more. Shane’s insight into the scriptures – scriptures that I had become real good at explaining away comfortably – began to corner me with the truth of the gospel, a gospel that up to that point I would have said I was living. I was not even close.
I began to be very disturbed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. I began reading through the gospels and seeing them in a whole new light. I began seeing that somehow, I had drifted a long way away from the gospel of Jesus. I was merely asleep in the current of Americanized christianity, a neutered, cross-less aberration of the gospel. Jesus, with his earthy and plain gospel of love, was staring me down and would not leave me alone.
And it was all Shane Claiborne’s fault.
The Emerging And The Ruined
As the journey toward inner revolution began, I began to realize that I was out of touch with my world and the current state of the church across the board. I began going to YouTube, BeliefNet, and other websites seeking out new vistas and viewpoints. Some years before I had heard of the Emerging Church and was familiar with the name of some of the leaders therein. I began to look up folks like Tony Jones, Frank Viola, Mark Driscoll, Rob Bell, and Brian McLaren (to name a few), and to read whatever I could get my hands on.
The Emerging Church is hard to define. They refuse to call themselves a “movement”. They prefer the term “conversation” because it’s on-going and non-solidified. A movement would have parameters of doctrine and beliefs, but a “conversation” would have only open dialogue and seeking of common ground to work from. There is also a “conversation” that refer to themselves as “Emergent”, but at the moment, I forget what the main differences are. (I read a terrific article by Christianity Today that explained the differences and characteristics very well; I highly recommend it.) An online friend who is into a more conservative branch of the Emerging Church conversation was a huge help to me at this point in the journey.
Much of what I discovered on this leg of the journey was that the Church in America had failed miserably to not only reach the culture but to try to understand or show compassion. I’m not talking about what passes in the media as tolerance these days. I’m talking about a refusal by the Church to live the gospel of Jesus Christ in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Instead, American Christianity has created its own gospel (the prosperity gospel) which, as St. Paul said, is really no gospel – no good news – at all. The culture has seen priest sex abuse scandals and seeming cover-ups; greedy and immoral televangelists living extravagant lifestyles; fundamentalists zealots who picket funerals of homosexuals with signs saying “God hates fags”; and evangelicals who equate Christianity with patriotism and being Republican. The Church, which should be a safe place, a sanctuary, a refuge of hope and love, has instead become (in large part, not all) an unsafe place, filled with prejudice, hatred, self-righteousness, commercialism, consumerism, rejection, and condemnation toward all who disagree, even other Christians. Now, I may not agree with all of the accusations and I certainly don’t agree with some of the reactions and answers that have come down the pike, but these issues have to be faced head-on, looked at, and repented of (if necessary) by the Church in America. Some of the Emergent guys want to re-invent the wheel; some want to return to the ancient practices of the early Church, but with a modern twist here and there. I don’t believe that is the answer. I believe the Church should publicly repent wherever it finds itself guilty of any charge and should seek to live the true gospel, the good news that Jesus Christ came declaring and demonstrating as laid out essentially in the Sermon on the Mount and in the Gospels. Still, in all of this searching, I discovered that I was guilty of many of the charges above. To be frank, I was a self-righteous ass-hole. Repentance had to begin (as it always does) with my own heart. And while I did find a lot of helpful insights and truth among the Emerging conversation, there were two men on the fringes of the evangelical mainstream who were to have the most impact upon my crumbling christianity – and still are to this day: Tony Campolo and Shane Claiborne.
The Awakening
One day, while sitting in my office, the thought occurred to me that I was insulated from the world, and the needs of the world, the same world I was hoping to reach with the love of Jesus. Every day, I was together with people who think like me, dress like me, talk like me, and look like me. We all use the same jargon and we all believe the same things. While that can be a good thing, for me it had become a smug, self-satisfied hiding place. It was a tight-fitting cocoon that gave me an air-tight excuse for not engaging with the world – or anyone, for that matter. I rarely even saw the guys that I worked with because we were always behind closed doors (granted, mostly for legitimate reasons: counseling, privacy, etc.). This realization exposed two things: my own apathy towards the needs of others and my own gargantuan, smug self-righteousness. I was satisfied with my own brand of christianity and was an expert at excusing myself from any real interaction with others, and I was also an expert at explaining why Jesus didn’t really mean what he was clearly saying. I had become a self-satisfied, self-righteous jerk; a pharisee of the first order.
Recently, I reviewed my ordination and calling as a deacon. In the Book of Common Prayer (1979), in the liturgy for the ordination of a deacon, you’ll find the following statements explaining my specific calling:
“In the name of Jesus Christ, you are to serve all people, particularly the poor, the weak, the sick, and the lonely.”
“You are to interpret to the Church the needs, concerns, and hopes of the world.”
“At all times, your life and teaching are to show Christ’s people that in serving the helpless they are serving Christ himself.”
And one of my ordination vows reads, “Will you seek for Christ in all others, being ready to help and to serve those in need?” My answer, my vow: “I will.”
In truth, without knowing it, I had become insulated and withdrawn from Jesus, the very same Jesus that I claimed to know and follow.
Looking back, the coming of the realization that I was hiding in a self-righteous, self-satisfied persona of holiness and spirituality was really God’s mercy and love to me. Jesus was answering that simple prayer that I had prayed weeks earlier (see previous post,”A Holy Discontent”) and was waking me up from my smug, self-induced slumber. Little did I know, He was also waking me up to what it means to follow him.
The Unspeakable Quote
It’s important to keep in mind that, in the beginning of my ruining, the Lord was bringing several things to a head, like a number of individual cars on separate roads all speeding toward the same intersection, destined to arrive at the same time. A collision was inevitable, but necessary.
A week or so before I had the conversation in the previous post, I remembered a Christian speaker that I had heard twice in my teenage years and had always liked. His name is Tony Campolo. I was trying to look up some of his stuff online when I stumbled upon a quote that he had made many years ago. This quote, unknown to me at the time, was going to be God’s divinely ordained catalyst that would ignite the ruinous fires of God’s revolution in me. Here’s the quote:
“I have three things I’d like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don’t give a shit. Third, what’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”
When I first read it, I thought, “Cool! That’s radical!” But, as I read it again and again, I found myself thinking, “That’s cool, what he’s saying and all, but really he should’ve said it more pastorally…or more like this, using this word instead of…”. It was in the middle of that line of thought that a shocking realization occurred: I was one of those people who was more concerned that he said shit than I was that 30,000 kids die of starvation every night! I am a Pharisee. In a divine flash, I could feel the pain of God over all those dying kids – and that it was intensified by my own cold, religious, pharisaic indifference! Jesus was grieved deeply and it moved me not! I can’t put into words what took place in me, except to say a deep, profound, foundational repentance. I was too stunned in my pride to weep, but I repented sincerely and deeply.
At that moment, I began to cry out to Jesus for his gospel and no other. I didn’t want to be a Republican, Democrat, liberal, conservative, moderate, evangelical, charismatic, or even Christian (the American caricature of it, anyway) – I wanted to simply be a follower of Jesus. No one else, nothing else. I repented of Americanized Christianity and asked Jesus to accept me as his disciple and follower and to teach me his gospel. And, praise his name, he is doing just that. But even that has had a few surprises involved (but more on those later)…
One thing I realized early on was this: that I sit in an office in my clerics every day and do mostly the same things everyday. I rarely talk to anyone because we all have our duties and appointments and we’re all busy behind closed doors. And frankly, if people walked in off the street needing groceries or financial assistance, I would inwardly get pissed off and see it as an interruption! After Jesus ignited the catalyst mentioned above, I realized that I sit every day in the same office; I’m surrounded with people who dress like me, talk like me, look like me, use the same “church language” as me – I wasn’t having any effect on anyone! I was insulated from people inside and outside of the church. And sadly, in my arrogance, I was smugly satisfied with myself, fully convinced in my own mind that I was doing the will of God! I had become real good at explaining why Jesus didn’t mean what he was plainly saying; I was real good at getting out of doing things that I just didn’t want to deal with, but excusing myself in such a way that I appeared to be so righteous and spiritual and holy. (It makes me sick to think about it now.) I was numb and slumbering, all the while believing that I was one of the few who were feeling and awake.
Thank God for his mercy to me, a fool and a pharisee.
A Holy Discontent
The journey began with a restless slumber. Not a physical sleep; I was spiritually asleep. I had become unsatisfied with the answers that were being offered by the news media (liberal or conservative), by the political parties (Republican or Democrat), and American Christianity. My ministry itself was in a stagnant, non-flowing state, and my personal motivation had slowed down as much. Every vantage point was bland and uninspired. I wasn’t depressed, mind you; but I was somewhere between slumber and consciousness. The beginning of my awakening would be ignited from an unlikely source.
An old friend posted an article by a former evangelical who was now an agnostic or atheist on his Facebook page. In the article, the author was debunking the bible and explaining his reasons for abandoning Christianity. My friend who posted it was not offering any explanation of his own views, so I contacted him and asked him. I was interested in knowing because he had been largely responsible for my own coming to Christ; he actually baptized me. So, I asked him, and his answer didn’t really surprise me.
He explained that he didn’t believe in Christianity anymore. He explained that he didn’t like to talk about it because of two reasons: 1) people want to argue with him, especially those who knew him as a youth minister; and 2) people want to convert him. Either one he was not going to do, he told me. I told him I understood (which I did) and that he didn’t have to fear either one from me.
The timing could not have been better. I was already becoming disenchanted with American Christianity, as well as I my own spiritual impotence and listlessness. I loved Jesus, but the answers that I had become so comfortable with were no longer answering the questions. To be more specific, the answers weren’t completely wrong, they just didn’t seem to fit anymore. They filled in the blanks, but only partially – and with a lot of gaps in between the words and ideas they were formed from. They were more like Band-Aids placed on long, deep, gaping lacerations… like pieces of new, unshrunk cloth being used to patch old wineskins.
A month before the above took place, I had prayed a simple yet very sincere prayer: “Lord Jesus, I want to do away with all other titles – Republican, Democrat, Charismatic, Evangelical, whatever – I want only to be your follower. Please lead me into your gospel and make me your follower.” I didn’t even feel comfortable with the title of “Christian” because of what I saw in American Christianity. As far as I can tell, he took me up on that prayer. He’s answering.
The journey begins.
Introduction
This is the record of a revolution.
This is the record of how God wrecked my ideas of Christianity and has begun to replace them with His own.
My name is Gary. I’ve been a Christian for 30 years. I am the worship leader and an ordained deacon in my denomination. I’ve always wanted to be a radical follower and disciple of Jesus, so I’ve been joyfully surprised to discover (by the goodness of God) that I had fallen asleep in my faith and had grown satisfied with a pale, comfortable Christianity. This little blog is the story of and the ongoing record of my waking and my ruining. As the Lord began to call me to His gospel, His Christianity, I began to realize that my life, my ideas, my own brand of Christianity was ruined. And I’m very thankful, because I’m being ruined by the compassionate love of God – for me and for others. I’ll never be the same…thanks be to God!
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